3 Myths About Choosing a Helper for Your Plan

We’ve talked previously about what a “helper” is and why it’s so important to not only choose one, but choose a good one. Whether it’s as a trustee, executor, power of attorney or guardian, it’s very important that you choose someone who is up to the task.

Here are 3 myths about choosing a helper that you should avoid:

1. “I need to name my oldest child.”

While it is historically conventional to name your oldest child as a “helper” in estate planning, we challenge that convention when it’s not the best choice. If your oldest child is not your most responsible child, or if your oldest child has extenuating circumstances in their life (like a special needs child) that would prevent them from carrying out the duties of a helper, then it is perfectly acceptable to choose a child other than your firstborn.

2. “I should name all of my kids as co-executors.”

In an effort to be “fair,” many people think that naming their kids as co-executors is a good idea. David generally does not recommend this option. Read here to find out why.

3. “My kids will figure things out without me.”

This may seem like the easiest option, but it is generally the worst option for your children. The stress and aftermath of a parent’s death is easily one of the hardest times in life. By leaving all of the hard decisions to your kids, you’re heaping an unbelievable amount of extra stress and pressure on them. Good families are destroyed by bad estate planning. We see it everyday.

So what factors should you consider when choosing a helper? Read this article, Every Estate Plan Needs a Good Helper to find out. Also, check out “12 Duties of a Helper” to learn more about what exactly executors, trustees, guardians and powers of attorney do. And if you need help making this decision, that’s part of our unique approach to planning – we walk our clients through the process, helping them think of every detail. Give us a call today at 217-726-9200 or attend one of our upcoming workshops.

7 Types of “Helpers” You Need to Watch Out For

As you age, or as you complete your estate plan, you’ll need to name different kinds of “helpers” who will carry out your plan when the time comes. These helpers are officially known by different names depending on the job they’re given. They can be known as trustee, executor, power of attorney or guardian, but no matter what their legal name is, their job is to act for you when you can’t act for yourself. This can happen in cases of stroke or other debilitating illnesses as you age, or after a death. It’s very important you choose the right person.

Our founding attorney, David Edwards, has been in the estate planning field for almost two decades now. When you’re that experienced, you start to notice trends. Here are some kinds of helpers David has seen over the years – helpers you may want to avoid if you have any of these “types” in your family:

1. The Do-Nothing – Mom died 2 years ago, but her house is still sitting empty, crumbling. Tax bills and utilities eat up the estate, while the rest of the family waits. He says, “I’ll get to it soon.”

2. The Messy One – In grade school, this person couldn’t find her homework. As a teenager? Clothes piled a foot deep in her bedroom. As an adult? She’s often late to appointments (if she remembers them at all). And finances? Her checkbook has never been balanced, and she gets monthly overdraft notices. Now she’s been named a trustee…

3. The Fighter – His competitive spirit was great while playing sports in high school. But it has not worked out so well with his family or his marriage. Being right is more important than anything else. And now, as a trustee, he gets to decide what’s “right.” There’s no talking to him about it, because it’s his job, and it’s “none of your business how I do it.”

4. The Romantic – “I’m just not ready to sell grandpa’s car or fishing cabin yet.” This trustee lets her emotions get in the way of the job – which is to sell or distribute trust assets. And it’s not just the car and cabin – what about personal property? How do you sort out or (gasp!) even throw stuff away? “It’s just too hard. I can’t do it yet.”

5. The Bossy One – The parents named Junior and Sissy as co-trustees, wanting both of them to have a say and to work together. But big brother is used to being in charge and taking over. He won’t even talk to his sister about what is going on. “If you don’t like it, go get a lawyer… I don’t care if we spend the entire estate on legal fees!” Bossy brother pushes and threatens, leading the more reasonable sister to let him have his way. “It’s just not worth it to try to fight.”

6. The Stress Ball – She’s always running here and there, never any time to sit and talk about the estate. IF you get her on the phone she says, “Sorry. Can’t talk now. Can I call you back?” She means to do her job as trustee, but she can’t find time for the things in her own life, much less this added duty. The family isn’t sure what to do – take legal action or just wait a little longer.

7. The Broke One – His ends never seem to meet, and he’s always in financial crisis. Bill collectors call all the time. Now he’s named as a trustee and gets a checkbook showing a nice balance. It’s easy to rationalize – “I’ll just take some of my inheritance early, to get past this crisis.” But then he needs a little more and a little more. As time passes, the family wonders what has happened to their parents’ money.

So, what types of people make good helpers? Here are some things to consider in naming “helpers.”

We understand that this can be a very daunting task. As always, we are here to help you create an effective estate plan. You don’t have to do it alone. We’ll guide you along every step of the way. Give us a call at 217-726-9200 to get started, or attend one of our FREE workshops. We have two to choose from:

If, after attending one of these workshops, you decide to work with us, you’ll receive $200 off your Initial Meeting fee. Call 217-726-9200 to RSVP for an upcoming workshop today.

Estate Planning is Like… Birthday Cake

Much like your favorite birthday cake flavor, everyone likes different things when it comes to estate planning.

Well, as of March 5, I’m another year older! And to celebrate I got to have the best birthday cake in the world — spice cake with chocolate icing! What kind of cake do you request on your birthday?

Dave Bday cake 2015

In our family, everyone seems to have their own favorite. For my wife Michelle, it’s spice cake with white icing. (And she is forever trying to talk me into changing the icing on my birthday cake!) 8-year-old Bailey asks for white cake with white icing, and I’m not sure 4-year-old Cole has settled on a choice yet. My dad likes yellow cake with chocolate icing. My mom? Carrot cake with cream cheese icing. My brother, Jay, for decades requested turtle cake. (Which Michelle and I found out firsthand, does not turn out well if the recipe is copied down wrong!) Jay’s wife, Beth, likes white cake with white frosting just like Bailey.

Everyone’s got an opinion. Of course, the rest of them are all wrong! Spice cake with chocolate icing is clearly the best choice for a birthday cake.

And we haven’t even gotten to the ice cream! Some want chocolate. Some want vanilla. Others like cookie dough or cookies ‘n’ cream. We’ll save that for another blog post!

Everyone likes different things. The same choice does not work for everyone, even if they’re from the same family.

With your estate plan, you need a plan that fits your family – not a fill-in-the-blank form that doesn’t reflect your unique values, wishes, or family challenges.

And within your plan each child or loved one may have a different challenge or need that should be addressed. Don’t treat them all the same. Some want white icing. Others need chocolate. A good plan will take into account their personality, financial wisdom, and the unique situation of each heir.

If you need a more personalized (and therefore, more effective plan), our free workshop, Intro to Edwards Group: Wills and Trusts Orientation is a great way to get started. Call us at 217-726-9200 to RSVP for the next workshop. Find out our upcoming workshop dates here. Learn more about the workshop and what you’ll learn by attending, here.

The Lifecycle of an IRA: 4 Stages

There are 4 stages in the lifecycle of your IRA, and each one gets progressively more complicated.

The last stage is “What happens when I’m gone?”

Here is what you need to know about each stage leading up to the last:

Before age 59 1/2, you are usually paying into the IRA. But if you try to take anything out, you pay the taxes plus a 10% penalty.

After 59 1/2, you can take funds from your IRA if you like, and pay the tax. But you can also just leave it in and let it grow

After you turn 70 1/2, then you must start taking funds out. How much you take out is based on your age. The term for this is the “Required Minimum Distribution” or RMD. This requires that you take out a certain percentage every year, based on your age. The IRS has a table that says how much you have to take out. To calculate your first RMD, take the value of your IRA at the beginning of the year and divide by 27.4. The second year you divide by 26.5 and so on, based on the table. The good news is that even at age 100, the IRS table still estimates that you have over 6 years to live!

So, what’s the next stage of your IRA?

After you die. At that point, the IRA will take one of two forms:

1) If you leave it to your spouse, then the spouse can just take it and add it to their IRA.

2) If you leave it to your kids or others, then they can’t put it in their IRA. Instead, they will keep it separate as an inherited IRA. At that point, they are required to begin taking those minimum distributions (RMD’s) based on their life expectancy. It doesn’t matter what age your child is, they have to begin taking money out annually after your death. For instance, if you leave your IRA to a child who is 47-years-old, then she has to take out at least 1/37th of the IRA the first year, 1/36th the next year, 1/35th the next, and so on.

With IRA planning, the key is how we handle this after-death stage. There are quite a few planning tricks that can help, plus plenty of traps for the unwary. We will address some of those traps in next week’s post.

Take Action Now: Update Your Beneficiary Designations

It is vitally important that you review all your beneficiary designations (life insurance, 401(k)s, etc.) every 2 years, or sooner in cases of births, deaths, marriages, divorce, job changes or retirement. Read on to see real court cases that show why it is so crucial.

We talk about beneficiaries A LOT around here, and the following court cases will show some of the reasons why, but first, let’s review what a beneficiary is and why it’s so important.

There are a few financial planning tools that are not passed down in wills. Things like life insurance and 401(k)s are passed down to whomever you write on the beneficiary designation form when you sign up for them. And sadly, many people NEVER change those names ever again despite the changes in their life circumstances. There are a significant number of people who take the time to care for their loved ones by taking out life insurance policies, but then don’t pay attention to who really owns it or who the beneficiary is. The tragic consequences of this oversight, impact those they love most.

Life is not a fairytale. Things do not automatically work out for the best. The law is the law, and therefore, will not be swayed by what seems reasonable for your family. These two federal cases illustrate that:

In Hearing v. Minnesota Life Insurance Company, a single father named his sister as beneficiary of his life insurance policy so the sister could take care of the daughter. He intended to change the beneficiary to his daughter once she turned 18. But he never got around to it. Sadly, the father died and the sister claimed the life insurance. Despite a handwritten note stating that he wanted his daughter to be the new beneficiary, the court found that the only thing that mattered was the name on the beneficiary designation. The sister, not the daughter, got the $100,000 pay out.

Again, in The Lincoln National Life Insurance Company v. Ruybal case, we have another “sister” situation. A single dad named his sister beneficiary because she was supposed to take care of the kids. Upon death, the decedent’s sister, his executor, and the two daughters all claimed the life insurance. The court ruled in favor of the sister, noting that, “Anyone attacking the right of a named beneficiary to receive the proceeds of an insurance policy has the burden of proving that the beneficiary is not entitled thereto.” In other words, the sister was on the form – plain and simple. Would it have been more fair for the estate or the daughters to get the money from the policy? Probably. But it is not the duty of the courts to do the reasonable thing. It is their duty to uphold and interpret the law. It is your duty to keep up to date with your beneficiary designations.

As you can see in each of these real-live cases, the court ordered payment to the named beneficiary, even to the detriment of the children of the deceased.  The clear message from the courts in these decisions is that the named beneficiary of a life insurance policy will get the death proceeds regardless of what other competing claims exist, or what one’s sense of fairness seems to dictate.

This means the burden is yours to keep up with your beneficiary designations. It is vitally important to make sure they are up to date. At the very least, you should review your beneficiary designations every 2 years. But in the case of the following life events, you should review your beneficiary designations right away:

  • Family events such as births, deaths, marriages and divorces all should trigger a review of ALL beneficiary designations.
  • Work events such as changes in business, change of job or retirement ALL should trigger reviews.
  • External events such as significant tax changes or other legal changes should also trigger a review.

Some mistakes are just not fixable. Please, double check your beneficiary designations if you have not done so recently. Edwards Group clients can rest easy because we help make sure assets are set up properly (and stay that way through our Dynasty Membership program). Join us for an introductory workshop to hear more about how we can help with estate planning.

3 Reasons the Majority of People Don’t Have a Will

It’s vital that you do not take the ostrich approach to estate planning that so many others do.

A recent survey released by Rocket Lawyer found that 51% of Americans ages 55-64 don’t have wills! That’s a lot of people with their head stuck in the sand hoping things will just work out when they die. Based on what we see everyday here at Edwards Group, that is a COSTLY assumption to make.

Dying without a will costs your loved ones time, money and extra stress during the already stressful grieving process. A will isn’t about your death. It’s about taking care of the ones you love.

The Top 3 Reasons for Not Having a Will

So, what reasons did people give for not having a will? The study found that 57% just haven’t gotten around to it, 22% felt it wasn’t urgent, and 17% didn’t think they needed a will.

I say this all the time – the greatest threat to estate planning (and protecting your family) is procrastination. Here is what “not getting around to it” will cost when it comes to planning:

Loss of money – Lack of good planning can cost you money – more attorneys’ fees later, more taxes, more money being paid to a nursing home. By planning ahead, you can protect what you’ve worked so hard for.

Loss of family – Lack of effective estate planning tears families apart. Poor planning leaves families with wounds that never heal. Sadly, I see this all the time.

Increased stress for loved ones – A lack of proper planning can cause countless headaches and heartaches for your grieving family when it comes to dying without a will. Extra paperwork; long, drawn out court cases; and lost time from work piled on top of your loved ones grieving and busy regular life.

And for the 17% who don’t think they need a will, I hear that all the time, too. “I don’t need an estate plan. I don’t have an estate!” But that’s not true. If you own a house, are married or divorced, and you have children, then you need a will. Virtually everyone can benefit from having a personalized estate plan. Without one, the state of Illinois will decide what happens to your house, bank accounts, cars, etc. when you die. And trust me, the state of Illinois doesn’t know you or your family, so they may not make the same decisions you would make.

So what can you do? At Edwards Group we’ve worked hard over the years to make the process as simple as possible. Here are a few easy next steps if you need a will:

1. Attend a free workshop to learn more about proper planning. Our introduction to estate planning workshop is a great first step. It’s free. It’s only an hour, and you’ll never be on the receiving end of a hard sell – just good information so you can make informed choices. Click here for upcoming dates.

2. Give us a call at 217-726-9200. Tarina loves helping people and answering their questions. In fact, she was a client before she ever started working at Edwards Group, so she has a unique perspective that many find helpful.

3. Schedule an initial meeting. If you know you’re ready and want to stop putting it off any longer, just give us a call and schedule your Initial Meeting. At this meeting (which usually lasts about 45 minutes) you’ll review your concerns and goals with an attorney who will help you understand the unique risks your family faces. By the end of the meeting you’ll understand your planning options, how much it will cost and if Edwards Group is the right firm for you. Clients find this meeting to be very valuable in helping them understand their options.

Remember, the biggest threat to your assets and your family is procrastination. Please take action now. Don’t put it off any longer. There is too much at stake. Call us at 217-726-9200 to RSVP for an upcoming workshop or email Tarina at tarina@edwardsgroupllc.com to get started.

non-financial estate planning issues

10 Non-financial Planning Issues You Should Consider

Effective planning doesn’t just involve money…

We tend to do things a little differently around here. After years of doing planning the traditional way (and seeing ways that the process could be improved), I started my own firm. Not only is it important for me to educate you about planning financially, I also want you to think about the non-money planning issues that are often overlooked by more traditional estate planning.

Not planning for non-financial issues can be just as tragic as not planning for more traditional money issues. This lack of planning can lead to poor quality of life for you, extra stress for your kids and loss of a legacy.

Here are 10 non-financial planning issues to consider and their solutions:

1. Healthcare. Who will make your healthcare decisions if you can’t? And will they know when to “pull the plug”? When they do pull the plug, will your organs be donated? Solution: You need to cover the proper legal authority through a healthcare power of attorney and a living will. Also, have conversations with your family about your wishes so they know, without a doubt, how you want them to act on your behalf.

2. Pets. Without a plan, your special dog may be bounced around from relative to relative or even put down because there is nowhere for him to go. Solution: Your will or trust can specify who will care for your pet and how the pet’s expenses will be paid after you are gone. (Which reminds me of one of my favorite estate planning jokes.)

3. Wisdom. What does your family stand for? What values were important to your parents and grandparents? Will your grandkids know about those? Solution: Take the time to reflect on these things and write them down. You can find resources for where to start online, or even hire someone to help you at the Association of Personal Historians.

4. Online or computer stuff. More and more of our lives are being lived online – Facebook, online photos, emails with your grandkids.  How will your family access that info after you’re gone? In this day and age it’s important to have a plan for this. (Read a real life story about it here.) Solution: You can store the information yourself in a safe deposit box, you can use one of the newly formed companies out there (SecureSafe or PasswordBox), or your attorney can keep the information for you.

5. Family heirlooms. Grandma’s old table, the shotgun with the homemade stock, the family Bible that’s over 100 years old. What will you pass on? And will you pass along the story that goes with it? Antique shops are filled with stuff that has some value to a stranger, but could have been priceless to family members, if only the story behind the item had been preserved. Solution: Take the time to clearly communicate your wishes or preserve the stories behind those special items. You can include the history of family items as part of your “special stuff list” or in a separate letter your family will get after you’re gone.

6. Guardians for kids. If people who don’t share your values end up raising your minor children, then the money you leave won’t really matter. Solution: Our free Kids Guardianship Kit is a great resource for knowing how to choose a guardian, and even includes a Child Raising Priorities Checklist to help you through the process.

7. Sibling relationships. If you become disabled and one child is the primary caregiver, will the rest of the family be prepared? Will the caregiver feel like no one else is helping out? Will the other siblings feel like the caregiver is overspending your money? Only you can know the answers to these questions. Solution: As part of our process we will discuss with you how to best choose helpers and how to make sure they know what to do when the time comes. Good planning helps avoid misunderstandings between siblings.

8. Burial wishes. Do you want to be cremated or have a visitation? What will your obituary say? Will you plan it out or leave it to your kids to decide (or fight about) during a time of grief and high stress? Creating a funeral plan or burial plan can be a real gift to your family and make the time of remembering you more meaningful. Solution: In Illinois, you can specify your wishes in your Disposition of Remains document, which provides binding burial instructions.

9. Living arrangements. If you’re near the end of your life, sick and unable to care for yourself, all the money in the world won’t matter if your living arrangements are not what you want for yourself. How important is it that you remain living on your own? Are there certain facilities you absolutely do not want to be placed in? Solution: As part of your disability instructions in your living trust, you can be very specific about how you want to be cared for and where you want to live.

10. End of life issues. Do you want to be kept alive with a feeding tube? Ventilator? Will your family know what your wishes are? If you are 85 years old with terminal cancer, would you want heart surgery just to prolong your life a few weeks or months? Solution: Your living will and healthcare power of attorney give the legal authority and instructions on those issues. But it is also very important to discuss these difficult issues with your family so they understand your preferences.

See our Infographic illustrating these issues HERE.

We are always happy to talk with you about any questions or concerns you might have. Just give us a call at 217-726-9200. And if you want to learn more about the process of planning, feel free to check out our next Intro to Edwards Group workshop. This 1-hour workshop is a great way to learn about our unique process, why it’s so effective and how our pricing works, etc.

3 Things to Do Before You Hit 70

Decision making gets harder as we age. Here are 3 crucial decisions you need to address before you turn 70.

Researchers say that decision making gets harder as we age, even if we don’t have dementia. What does this mean for you? There are many important decisions regarding your health, well-being, family and finances that can be made sooner rather than later. Many people put planning off because it’s unpleasant to think about. I can assure you, it’s much more unpleasant to be the family members on the other end of a stroke, long illness or death where the person did not plan ahead.

Here are the three things you need to take care of by the time you turn 70:

1. Incapacity planning.

What would happen if you had a stroke and were unable to make decisions for yourself any longer? You may think that your family would just decide for you, but it’s not that simple. With proper planning, extra suffering and fighting amongst your family can be avoided.

2. Estate planning.

What can we say about this that we haven’t already? Wills and trusts are basic estate planning tools that a majority of people NEED to have. Proper drafting of these documents saves time, money and heartache.

3. Long-term care planning.

Most nursing homes in Central Illinois will cost at least $60,000 per year. It’s important to take action ahead of time to plan and protect yourself from having to go broke in order to pay for nursing home care.

I know it can seem impractical to plan for things that may never happen, but statistics tell us that everyone who ages should be prepared for cognitive impairment of some kind. Statistics also tell us that 70% of Americans over 70 will need some sort of long-term care. The longer you wait, the less prepared you will be to face the reality of aging in America – and that will cost you time and money. It will also cost your family a lot of heartache.

If you’d like to read more on this topic, check out this article from MarketWatch, “The biggest retirement risk no one talks about” or the National Institutes of Health study entitled, “The ability to decide advantageously declines prematurely in some normal older persons”. This study showed decision-making impairment in aging adults with otherwise normal cognitive functioning. According to NIH researchers, “Our finding has important societal and public policy implications (e.g. choosing medical care, allocating personal wealth), and may also help explain why many older individuals are targeted by and susceptible to fraudulent advertising.”

As always, if you have any questions or just need help knowing where to start, our Client Coordinator, Tarina Burgess will be more than happy to talk with you via phone at 217-726-9200.

bad heir day

A Bad Heir Day: When Beneficiary Designations Trump Your Will

Download our Beneficiary Designations Form Now

Many people incorrectly assume that all their assets will be distributed through their will. Unfortunately, this is a big misconception. A good example of this is retirement savings, such as an IRA or 401(k). These accounts are passed on to the person or persons who were designated on the form when the account was started. Many people don’t give much thought to these forms, especially after they first fill them out, but that can cause huge problems down the road. (Read about how such a mistake cost the adult children of Leonard Smith $400,000.)

Just recently, here at Edwards Group, we had this sort of situation arise as well. A client had an old 401(k) from a previous job in which his parents were named as beneficiaries. Unfortunately, they had passed away so the 401(k) had no beneficiaries listed. When the client died, we had to go through the expensive process of probate court to get the 401(k) into the hands of the right people.

Improper beneficiary designations can also jeopardize nursing home care if Medicaid is paying for that care. Recently we had a case where the spouse of someone in nursing care died leaving money to the disabled spouse instead of their adult children. This large amount of money is now jeopardizing the surviving spouse’s benefits.

I cannot emphasize enough how important these beneficiary designations are! It is not enough to just fill out the form once and then leave them be. It is vitally important that you check these designations yearly as a part of the regular upkeep of your plan. (Download our Beneficiary Designations form here.)

So, what types of assets with beneficiary designations trump a Will?

  • Life insurance polices
  • Annuities
  • Retirement accounts such as 401 (k)s and IRAs
  • Bank accounts with a payable on death provision
  • Investment accounts with a transfer on death provision

And what kind of life changes should trigger a review of beneficiary designations? After the following life changes, you need to double check who you put on your beneficiary designation forms:

  • Marriage
  • Divorce
  • Births
  • Deaths
  • Job changes, including retirement
  • Long-term care needs of one spouse
  • Disability of a child or grandchild

Now, here’s what to do to make sure this doesn’t make a mess for you or your family:

Make a list of all retirement accounts, life insurance policies, annuities and investment accounts. To the right of those specific assets, write who the beneficiary is and the date you last designated them. Review this list once a year (like on April 15). Or join the Dynasty program where we help you keep up with all of this. We’ve also included a PDF you can download to help make the process easier.

This whole issue highlights why Laura and Liis are so important to the clients at Edwards Group. Many of you may wonder why we need two Asset Coordinators, but it is a big job and it is a critically important job. One of the biggest mistakes people (and even other attorneys) make is not properly handling assets within an estate plan. You cannot have an effective plan if the assets have not been properly titled, designated and coordinated.

As always, if you have any questions about beneficiary designations or any other estate planning or elder law issues, please call us at 217-726-9200. We will be happy to speak with you and answer any questions we can.

How to Avoid an Estate Battle After You’re Gone

Creating a “special stuff list” will go a long way in keeping the peace once you’re gone.

Sadly, in my line of work, I see families fighting much more often than I would like. And while the media might lead you to believe it’s all about the money, oftentimes the fights are about things like Grandma’s curio cabinet full of keepsakes.

When it comes to preventing a big fight after you die, a will just isn’t enough. Even with an effective will, there is plenty of room for disagreement and fighting. Because of this, I encourage clients to create a “special stuff list” that directs certain items to the people they want those items to go to. This list, which is officially called a Memorandum for Distribution of Personal Property, is then incorporated into the Will or Living Trust.

 

Here are 7 things to consider when making your “special stuff list”:

1. What did your parents or grandparents pass down to you that you want to pass on?

2. What items bring back the most memories of your family time?
3. Have you discussed with family what items they might want?
4. How will you preserve the stories behind the items? Write out the story and record a video or audio about it. Even a few short sentences will mean a lot.
5. Don’t rely on Post-it notes, masking tape or just assume, “the kids know who gets what.”
6. Create a special stuff list and make sure it is signed, dated, and copies sent to your attorney and also kept with your Will or Living Trust.
7. In order to better identify items, take photos and include it with your “special stuff list.”
We’ve created a great resource to help you create your “special stuff” list. Download the worksheet by clicking on the button below.

Download Your FREE Resource

A Few More Things to Consider

While creating your list, don’t assume the things you find valuable will be the same things your family finds valuable. It’s always better to communicate about what you want to leave, and to whom, beforehand. Maybe you want your granddaughter to have your birthstone earrings, but maybe she’d rather have that old battered, blue pottery bowl that you used to make pudding in when she visited. You might never know the bowl was meaningful to her without a conversation, and you might even throw it out without any consideration, thinking, “Nobody’ll want this ol’ thing.”

A good resource on the matter is Who Gets Grandma’s Pie Plate, a resource developed by University of Minnesota professor, Marlene Stum. On her website, Stum gives tips about broaching the awkward topic of inheritance. Read Critical Conversations About Inheritance: Can We Talk? here for more. This article, from Consumer Reports, also has some good tips.